Some new mothers dread the time when maternity leave is over. Others are in a hurry to get to work. How not to lose your professional skills during maternity leave and learn to combine motherhood and parenting.

Not an easy choice

“A child needs a mother’s warmth and attention. Also very important is a harmonious emotional state of the mother: her satisfaction with herself, her life and her self-fulfillment. And if a woman feels the need to fulfill in the profession, it is not necessary to give it up completely. If a woman goes to work, it does not mean that she is a bad mother, provided that she finds the strength to give the child warmth and affection.

According to the psychologist, it is much worse if a woman devotes her whole life to the child, periodically reminding herself of missed opportunities and at an unconscious level cultivating a sense of duty in the child. “I have sacrificed a lot for him, and therefore he must live up to my expectations,” is the mistaken reasoning of mothers.

There is no guarantee that a parent who is with her child 24 hours a day will give her maximum care and love.

“The role of the mother for such a woman becomes the leader, she adjusts her whole life to the child. The negative side is that interest is lost, there is lack of confidence in themselves in a professional context, there is no desire to look after myself.

Nobody cancelled the risks of short-term maternity leave. New mothers want to sit on two chairs: to raise a child and work productively. Unfortunately, not always both of these goals are achievable.

Usually “fix” with maternity rush business leaders and those who have no memory in love with their work, or those who suffer from hyperresponsibility. In order to avoid the consequences of maximum load psychologist Nadezhda Safyan advises to harmoniously combine the roles of mother, wife, employee and hostess.

“It is important to allocate your time wisely and prioritize. Also, you need to turn off perfectionism to some extent, to lower the bar, always find time to relax and do not feel guilty about it.

As the director for recruitment and business development SQ-Team Ksenia Gorbunova emphasizes, early retirement from maternity leave may be due to external factors – the possibility of losing the job or the urgent need for money, and the desire of the woman.

“If a woman is not 100% ready to devote herself to the child, she has someone to leave the baby with and she is not tormented by guilt, then she quickly enough joins the workplace, even in the presence of a huge hormonal failure. If the early exit from maternity leave is forced, then, of course, there may be difficulties. It is very important that the young mother is supported by loved ones at home and colleagues at work.

Advice from a psychologist:

• Do an internal revision of your needs, desires and priorities. After the birth of a child, life will not be the same as before. A woman will have to give part of her energy to her baby.
• With the birth of a child, some responsibilities (cleaning, work, housekeeping) will have to be given less time than before. Perhaps the rest of the family should be involved in resolving this issue.
• If a woman decides to go to work, you should consider who will take care of the baby in her absence.
• A working mother should find time to rest, because the greatest risks are associated with a high workload. Rest is also important because there is a hormonal change in a woman’s body, which can affect her ability to work.